Thursday, December 31, 2009
sumtimes, i jus feel damn horrible.. like a demanding bitch.. esp when johnny keeps telling me that he's always trying his best to give me his best but i continue to ask for more.. more of his time, more of his love, more of his attention..
this feeling really sucks..
it's usually like although i kne that he's already giving me his best, i'm still not satisfied with it.. it's like i keep wanting more.. coz i jus cant hav enuff of him.. and he keeps telling me that he loves me a lot and is really trying his best to fulfill wat i'm asking.. and although he doesnt make a big fuss abt his 'situation', but on those rare times when he says my continual demand makes him feel as though he's nt giving me enuff, i hurt alot inside.. it's like i'm being the insensitive bitch..
argh.. sumtimes i really agree with those who tinks that being in a relationship is a waste of time and freaking tiring thing.. but i can never ignore the fact that being with johnny has brought the greatest joy in my life..
i dunno wat to say, mayb i'm crazy.. sometimes i really tink i am..
haiz..
aniway, in abt 30 mins, it'll be goodbye 2009 and hello 2010.. i'll like to wish my dear frenz who reads my blog a happy new year.. and do enjoy the last week of holidays before sch starts again.. =p
shiyin, i'm looking forward to genting.. oh, btw, rmb to remind the rest the time and the day of our trip.. cya~~
blue @ 11:20 PM
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Saturday, December 26, 2009
it's been an extremely wonderful week for me.. hee..
well, my parents went to hokkaido for holidays so i made johnny stay over at my place for the entire week.. it's was real good to hav him wif me.. heee.. seriously, wif him ard, i really hav a better sleeping habit.. haha.. i dun slp as late n i dun wake up as late either.. it's my personal alarm clock.. damn nice.. =p
aniway, we went to jb twice.. once on monday n once on wednesday.. both onli to city square.. seriously, it's damn near the checkpoint lah.. i mean, we jus walked awhile n we're there le.. but the road is different.. i mean, they're doing constructions so the roads are like going in circles.. most of the time spent on the bus is coz of the extra journey to reach the new checkpoint.. aniway, it looks quite nice nw, i mean the new malaysia checkpoint..
hm, we didnt really buy much frm there.. jus ate.. haha.. n had drank coffee beans there.. shiok.. i'll definitely do the same.. alot of drinking when i'm in genting in two weeks time..
oh, abt genting, sorry shiyin.. super sorry for the super long delay of funds.. what i wanna do is open a new uob account n den use it to transfer it to u.. coz i wanna make an account that focus on our couple expenses.. so we wont overspend on our other savings.. so, please giv me awhile more.. super sorry.. i'll definitely pay u before we go genting de.. SO SORRY..
aniway, i tink johnny is the main reason y i grow fat.. LOL.. when he was in camp the past 2 weeks.. i was controlling my food intake very well.. i control the amt of food i eat, the type of food i eat.. but wif him.. LOL.. i dun care.. i jus eat wat he eat and when we're together, we eat good food n we eat alot.. haha.. so i grow fat.. zzz.. haiz.. muz go on diet again..
kk.. i'm going off le.. shd go shower le.. will blog again if i rmb.. haha.. =p
buaiz
blue @ 8:55 PM
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Friday, December 18, 2009
it's real tiring after 3 nights of singing.. esp when the songs are damn hard..
they are for tml nite's christmas concert in church.. i'll be singing 3 songs wif my choir.. eh, 2 songs wif the combine choir n 1 wif the choir that i belong to.. aniway, besides the pianists, i'm the youngest of them all.. haha.. n the least experienced one.. so i have alot to learn frm the aunties n uncles..
aniway, i wanna slp nw but i'm still waiting for johnny's call.. he's finally back home.. FINALLY.. i was missing him like crazy.. aniway, they're having their family meeting as usual.. one main thing i'm waiting beside waiting for johnny is to kne the verdict.. hee.. it's actually abt whether i'm gonna slp at his place tml or nt.. coz tml's concert is at night.. den sunday morning, we'll be singing again in service meaning we have to reach church early..
kk.. i go wait for him in bed.. i'm real tired le..
buaiz
blue @ 11:35 PM
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
sometimes i wonder why a person can miss another so badly.. is it normal? am i going crazy or being over dependent?
sometimes it's crazy for myself to see that i can miss him so badly.. i dun really understand it at times y i can get so sticky to him.. we've been together for more than 5 years already.. shouldnt the sticky time be over long ago? LOL.. sometimes we're worst that those new couples.. haha..
aniway, johnny's reservice will end on friday.. but i doubt i'll be able to see him on fri coz there's rehearsals in church for the concert the following day.. i dislike it tat i wont be able to see him immediately when he's allowed to book out.. but i guess there isnt anithing i can do aniway coz i cant skip rehearsals..
i'm real bored these days when he's nt ard.. i guess the only thing i can say i did was that i've read books/novels.. quite a number of them actually.. one after another n my average speed nw seems to be one book in abt one and a half days.. well, it also depends on the thickness of the book and whether the book is interesting or nt..
hm, btw, i seem to be growing fatter.. seems to be lah.. although shiyin said that i'm thinner than i was in jc.. but i tink i'm still fat.. haha.. i guess tat's sumting gers keep saying abt themselves.. even those damn thin ones say that they are fat.. tat's usually the reason i tink i shd be on a diet..
oh.. i jus remembered that i actually asked chinghang to go jogging wif me after exams.. but seems like i haven asked him out.. haha.. n i'm lazy also lah.. haha.. =p
hm.. i tink i shd go continue wif my book.. halfway thru.. almost finishing actually.. sometimes it's tiring to read, sometimes it's really jus wat i do.. but since i dun hav johnny ard, tat's wat keeps me entertained.. =p
blue @ 10:15 PM
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Thursday, December 10, 2009
shiyin was saying jus nw tat it's been a long time since i blogged, so i'm here.. haha..
exams are finally over n it's holiday.. very glad tat i no longer need to go back to sch.. well, at least for abt 6 mths or so due to IA.. aniway, exams was horrible.. i screwed up most of my papers.. i guess onli one of them was quite okay for me.. the rest is quite dead.. i jus hope i pass everything n dont need to repeat anithing..
seems like this week is a busy week for me.. last paper was on monday n right after the paper, i went singing wif the guys.. the guys being kecksoon, darryl, pjj, etc.. there were 6 of us.. one ger being me.. LOL.. but ks's gf came to join us when we were almost ending.. if i may add, it's his new gf.. LOL.. they jus got together nt long ago.. haha..
anyways, tuesday was a resting day for me.. wed i had choir.. n today, i went for lunch wif shiyin, den we went to boon lay to get tics for our genting trip in jan, den we went to safra to sing.. sing again.. haha.. i almost lost my voice today.. we sang to much.. coz there's jus the 2 of us, so we didnt need to fight for the mic.. we were able to jus choose the songs we like n jus sing.. it's fun.. but seriously tiring..
tml, i'll be going for lunch wif the guys.. guys being cerong, alvin, wenda n bear.. it's been quite a long time since we met.. cant really rmb when was the last time.. LOL.. hm.. i tink it's when wenda's germany fren came to sg ba.. i guess.. cant really rmb.. haha.. i wonder wat they wanna eat.. seriously, i'm broke.. haha..
nw, i owe shiyin 300++ for the genting trip n the k for today.. muz ibank to her.. but i guess it'll take a few more days coz i need to see where i can get that $$ from.. either johnny's paying or i'm paying.. depending on who's account hav tat kinda money to deduct..
haiz.. speaking of johnny.. i miss him alot.. he's still in camp n i dont kne when he can book out.. i'm hoping that they'll be able to come out for the weekend.. at least for sat nite n go back on sun nite.. i hope so.. i wanna see him quite badly..
i was jus telling shiyin jus nw tat i wonder y we're still so sticky.. it's already more than 5 years together but we're still like tat.. i cant understand y i wan him so badly.. y i wanna be wif him so badly.. it's crazy sometimes.. like i was tinking last nite to myself that y can some couples jus see each other once a week or month n be enuff wif the time the spend together.. for me, it's like one day not seeing him is killing me already.. i wonder how i was able to do it back when he was still in the army..
hm.. it's time to go slp.. but i doubt i can fall aslp so early.. like last nite, i've been in bed for a very long time b4 i could fall aslp.. or rather, i was able to fall aslp only after johnny called at abt 2+am when he finally returned to camp.. there wont be such a call frm him tonite coz he's sleeping already..
kk.. i shd go.. haiz..
buaiz
blue @ 11:21 PM
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